The Lifelong Effects of Abusive & Toxic Relationships Part 2: Someone, Please Help Me by Laurie Balles Simpson

2 years ago

The Lifelong Effects of Abusive & Toxic Relationships Part 2: Someone, Please Help Me

How cathartic it’s been to open up this Pandora’s box of abuse I experienced more than 30 years ago. And I’ve wondered why I’ve been guarded. But not really, I know why I am. I just don’t want to be that guarded anymore. It’s clearly holding me back. No more!

My story doesn’t end with just his private abuse in the high school parking lot. There are many stories that remain vivid in my memory.

This one begins with him grabbing me by my hair and throwing me down. It was dark. I can remember the only light was the streetlight. All the houses around us were dark. Families asleep.

We were at a high school party at my best friend's house. She had older brothers who were friends with him.

He started yelling at me. Accusing me of something that I hadn’t done. I argued back. “No! I would never!”

We were outside now. I remember him pushing me out the door of the house. I was crying. He grabbed me by my hair and threw me in a puddle.

I yelled and cried. I was five blocks away from my house, where my parents were sleeping, and they had no idea what I had been dealing with for the past year.

I finally fought back. I’m yelling. “Why?! I didn’t do anything!”

While I’m soaking wet and covered with mud, people came out and were yelling at me to be quiet or the cops were going to come and break up the party. I cried, explaining that he’d thrown me on the ground in the mud. Standing there dirty, soaked, crying, I pleaded. They told me to shut up.

He went inside. I turned around and left.

During that dark and terrifying walk alone to my house, muddied and humiliated, I decided I was going to tell my mom what really had been going on.

Someone, please help me!

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Elisa Schmitz
I am so sorry for what you went through, Laurie Balles Simpson . It sounds like an absolute nightmare. You are so strong to have gotten through it, though I know the wounds are still there. Thank you for sharing your journey of overcoming. You inspire so many!
Laurie Balles Simpson
It is about overcoming, isn’t it! One step at a time.
You are a very courageous person...
Ann Marie Patitucci
I admire you so much, Laurie Balles Simpson -- your strength, your bravery, your "journey of overcoming" as Elisa said. But most of all, I admire how loving and kind you are. Some people would let such past experiences harden them or make them jaded or bitter, but not you. I'm so glad our paths crossed all those years ago. Love you!
Laurie Balles Simpson
Thank you always for your incredible support! About 10 years ago, the jaded and bitter part of my heart took over and it was about the worst feeling/existence I’d experienced. Just led me to more depression, anxiety and a true feeling that I’d finally lost my ability to smile or care. That is nowhere I ever want to be again if I can help it. I don’t take it lightly that I’m blessed with a supportive family and close friends that helped me see my way through. I often think of those who don’t have that built in network to lean on. I’m Grateful and if I can be a support in some way by sharing my story, I will. It’s the least I can do. Love you!

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