Verbal & Emotional Abuse FAQ: Help, My Husband Calls Me "Dumb" & "Stupid" All the Time by Dr. Bethany Cook Clinical Psychologist

Mental Health
2 years ago

Q. "My husband calls me 'dumb' and 'stupid' all the time, as well as other things. If I ask him to stop, he does it worse. How should I handle this? His behavior is affecting my mental and physical health."

A. I’m really sorry to hear this is happening. His behavior is classified as emotional abuse and NOT OK. Of course it’s impacting your mental health, it would me, too! Watch this video on how words impact plants.

His behavior also shows a lack of respect to you and every human is worthy of this basic right. I know people can get upset, but even when upset calling someone these names repeatedly after you’ve shared how you feel about it and how it’s negatively impacting your mental health (and by default him) is verbal abuse, period.

You can handle it one of two ways:

  1. Leave. 
  2. See if he will go to couples and individual therapy to work on understanding why he can’t stop intentionally hurting you and learn skills to positively switch up the behavior. If he can’t do it, leave.

I understand sometimes it’s not as "easy" to just up and leave. If that’s the case write me another question specific to your situation so I can offer specific steps you might be able to take. Again, I am sorry this is happening to you. It isn’t OK. Sending hope and hugs.

The content on is for informational and entertainment purposes only, and should not be considered medical advice. The information on this site should not be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, and is not a substitute for professional care. Always consult your personal healthcare provider. The opinions or views expressed on do not necessarily represent those of 30Seconds or any of its employees, corporate partners or affiliates.

Take 30 seconds and join the 30Seconds community, and follow us on Facebook to get inspiration in your newsfeed daily. Inspire and be inspired.

Related Products on Amazon We Think You May Like:

30Second Mobile, Inc. is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to and affiliated sites.

Setting Boundaries for Self-Care: FAQ About Setting & Enforcing Boundaries With Loved Ones

Words Hurt: Emotional & Verbal Abuse Are as Damaging to Kids as Physical Abuse

Are You Living With a Narcissist? How Narcissism Affect Relationships & Signs You're With a Narcissist

Living With a Narcissist: Are There Different Types of Narcissists?

Elisa Schmitz
I believe this happens more often than some people may think. Many thanks, Dr. Bethany Cook Clinical Psychologist , for sharing this very helpful insight. Hugs and hope all around!
Julio Caro
Thanks for Sharing.....

join discussion

Please login to comment.

recommended tips

Heart Disease Is the No. 1 Killer of Women: Here Are the Signs of a Heart Attack to Look For!

Is CBD for You? 5 Benefits of Adding CBD to Your Morning Routine